Microsoft E3 2010 Liveblog

[18:25] Hey guys, Owen here. The Microsoft E3 conference should be starting in just under 5 minutes. As soon as one of the video streams starts I'll be able to update you with all the latest news coming straight from the horse's mouth. I'll be using the best out of 3 streams, so if you want to watch you can at Gametrailers, IGN or Gamespot

[18:27] None of the streams have started yet. We're just a few minutes away from the start of the conference. Things are getting tense!

[18:29] The guy commenting on the Gametrailers feed is saying that Call of Duty will kick off the Microsoft Briefing. There's your first tidbit folks!

[18:30] The IGN feed has just gone live, they're running with the Gametrailers coverage by the looks of it, and their feed is miles ahead. looks like this is my channel fr watching.

[18:31] WE HAVE LIFT OFF! CoD black Ops trailer rolls. It's not a new trailer this one's been doing the rounds for weeks.

[18:33] We're kicking off with a live stage demo of Black Ops. Some terrorist in a tunnel just killed a dude, then got his braind blown out. NOICE. Aaaaand, they ended that part of the demo with the player getting Pwnt by some nondescript terrorist. The demo skips to a jungle scene. There's a terrorist camp. Lots of shooting. This is CoD, what the bejeezus did you expect? Terrorists are dead. Player half inches their hellicopter. That's theft you jarhead! The chopper is taking off and we see a panoramic view through the windscreen of the jungle. The hellicopter has missiles. BANG. Dead terrorists.

[18:38] This whole demo can be summed up by BANG BANG.

[18:39] I'm sure lots of innocent civilians are being shot in all this.

[18:39] Don Mattrick takes to the stage, thankyou, bla bla, phenomenon etcetera. Aggreement

[18:40] Don just thanked the internet streamers. That'll be me then.

[18:41] - Project Natal name officially unveiled as Kinekt. What a CRAP name.

[18:42] Hideo Kajima is being invited to the stage. That makes it twice in two years as I have it. He starts by talking about Metal Gear Rising and says that they will premiere new footage. He now welcomes some other Japanese dude to the stage. Don't expect me to remember the names.

[18:44] Trailer rolls with the credits cutting along a shot of a sword. That'll be Raiden's then. Cue some dude in a bigass suit with a gun. He appears to be cybernetic, as Raiden just utterly clobbered him. Two halves of a cyborg, nice work. Gameplay footage now. Fuck me his sword is sharp. It can kind of cut through anything. The trailer ends with the humerous cutting of a watermellon.

[18:46] Some bloke called Bill has just taken to the stage, and he's just trawling through a list of how good all Microsoft's games are. He's saying that everything from now on will only be on 360, and invited Cliff "Cliffy B" Blezinski of Gears of War fame to the stage. He's going to be taking us through a live 4 player co-op demo.

[18:49] Demo begins. Marcus is picking himself up off the floor. Some locust rips someone's arm off and beats them to death with it. Don't worrt parents, this game is a PG. There are things running around that to me look like Triffids, except that these guys appear to shoot fire from their faces. A tendril just grew out of the ground and smashed a building. Triffids appear to spawn small enemy crabs. Large thing enters the fray. It looks a lot like Venom from Spider-Man, just bigger, greyer, and less friendly. Fire from the sky! Gears players will know what all that is about. They'll be unveiling a new "Beast Mode" later on this E3.

[18:54]Peter Moleneux takes to the stage. He has to be my least favourite person in the games industry. He's bigging up Fable 3, shich is apparently set 5 decades after the second game. Trailer rolls. It's not a particularly graphically beefy game.

[18:56] We're just hearing about a new partnership between Microsoft and someone. A trailer rolls, and there appears to be a spartan soldier. A Crytek logo appears. Interesting. They certainly are known for their graphical beef. The game is Codename Kingdoms.

[18:58] Sounds to me like at this point, they're going to be talking about Halo Reach. Am I correct. Well of course I am, haven't you learnt by now? Here's a trailer, for the first time showing off the campaign mode. Spartans jump out of a transport chopper and the gameplay rolls. lots of covenant ships fly overhead and Brutes drop from the sky in drop pods, then procede to get shot. In the face. Lots of shooting. Frankly, I think the player is maniacal. A crap shot and a mad run and gun attitude do not go well together. Rocket Launcher get! Melee Kill on Brute get. The spartans now appear to be in a military complex. "Six, get to the sabre before the government get it" says some dude. A rocket takes off. I don't pretend to understand the logic. We follow the rocket out of the atmosphere, and now it looks like you'll be piloting spaceships and having dogfights in space. Demo ends and some bloke takes to the stage. No idea who he is, the video jumped.

[19:06] I missed the name of the next guy who's just come on stage. He's black, so I'll call him Mysterious Black Dude. He's using voice commands to navigate the Xbox menus. He's decided that he wants to watch Alice In Wonderland. He's moving through the video using hand motions. He can pause and stop the video with his voice. Can anyone say gimmick? Now he's playing Justing Beiber. FUCK YOU BLACK MAN!!!

[19:10] Microsoft are going to be bringing Xbox Live to Windows 7 phones. That's good if you have lots of money.

[19:11] Some lass called Laura has taken to the stage. She's demoing VideoKinekt. Looks like another attempt at XboxLive VisionCam to me. That failed rather massively, what makes them think this time it'll work. They're watching The Last Airbender together. Oh dear god, that's meant to be awful. The camera has movement tracking. Ok, that's fairly nifty. She told her XBox to "End Chat", and it did thus. That could get awkward if you're with your mates talking about Xbox.

[19:16] My internet just died, but it's ok folks, I'm back!

[19:16] Some Yankey Sports presenter tools have just stormed the stage. I really hate those guys, with such a passion. They're watching College football It's not football you retards! You can use Kinekt with it. Oh good, I'm utterly thrilled...

[19:20] I'm very bored of this, get on with it and show some games. I have not a care in the world for ESPN. Go away.

[19:21] They went away. Thank the lord above. Bloke in suit is back, and he said something about no additional cost. I bet that's not true, Microsoft love their hidden charges.

[19:22] Some bloke who'se been working on Kinekt has taken to the stage. He looks RIDDICULOUS. He's wearing sunglasses (indoors), a stupid purple jumper and has a really, really stupid beard.

[19:23] Launch games are being shown off. Some irritating little girl is on stage looking like the tool she is petting a virtual tiger. Somehow I don't think this is going to appeal to the hardcore fans. I hope that tiger bites her hand off. I can see very few people subjecting themselves to this kind of humiliation. She's waving her hands around and looking like an utter Penis. The game is called Kinektimals. Wonder how they thought of that title?

[19:27] Now some plonker is on stage taking us through "Kinect Sports. It uses avatars and you participate in sports. This doesn't look farmiliar at all. Cue video of all the sports you can play. There's football, bowling, athletics, table tennis, boxing, beach voleyball, and that seems to be just about it. Nope, definately not samey.

[19:30] Some woman called "Charmey" is on stage now, and she's demoing Kinect Joy ride. You know, I think all these games have something in common. This is looking more like a Nintendo conference by there minute. THE GIMMICKS ARE OVERWHELMING!!!

[19:32] Next game - Kinect Adventures. I'm definately getting tired of the naming. This actually looks awful, and I think that's all you really need know. The demonstrators, frankly, look like utter spastics, and I appologise to anyone with an impairment at this point, as it's an insult to them, rather than the other way around.

[19:37] Launch game trailer time. We're seeing something that looks EXACTLY LIKE Wii Fit, but they're not showing the actual game. I take it back, there was a brief glimpse at the end, and even the interface actually looks like Wii Fit, right down to the virtual trainer. Natal is scanning her. Pervy bastard. It's a Ubisoft game and it's full of gimmicks. "Your Shape is the title. They're going to be showing a portion of each section in the demo. She's following a virtual trainer and doing leg lifts, and now squat punches, followed by combat training. The demonstraiter is looking like a prat, punching thin air to break virtual blocks. The game told her to take a rest. Just how fat is she?! It's making her do a "Zen class" People are going to get bored of having nothing to interact with very quickly indeed.

[19:45] Thank god that's over. Unfortunately an equally pathetic looking woman has taken to the stage and broken into spontaneous dance. This is a Harmonix game. I'm unsure how many people will want to play a dancing game quite like this. my guess is somewwhere between zero and the number of people actually making the game. There's a bloke taking us through this particular demo. I think the only way he could realistically look more camp was if he was wearing a skintight lycra vest.

[19:50] We've got a lauunch date! 4th November! I wish I could be more thrilled, but given what they just showed, I'm more along the lines of repulsed. There'll be 15 launch titles, and apparently a Star Wars game coming next year. A trailer plays. It looks more than a little buggy, lightsabre deathblows don't actually touch the stormtrooper target. Vader enters, trailer ends.

[19:53] Oh dear, oh dear me. They're making Forza III compatible with Kinekct. That makes me sad. "Using Kinect you can literally walk around the car" Wow. Innovative, you can look at a pretend car on a screen and look like a retard in the process. I think if I see any more gimmicks tonight I might actually die. The video blanked out for a bit, so I may have missed something, but I'm not altogether bothered.

[19:56] Don Mattrick is back on stage now, seemingly closing out the show. He says that entertainment should be open and approachable for everyone. He's going to share something special!

[19:58] Well what do you know, a new Xbox 360. Looks like Somebody owes me a PS3. Smaller, sleeker and whisper quiet (That'll be the day) apparently. It'll come with the fastest wireless standard (n) BUILT IN, and be the same price as the old one and come with a 250GB hard drive. The Launch date? They're shipping retailers TODAY! However, those lucky asshats in the audience get one for free, on the house from Microsoft.

[20:01] That concludes the presentation. Don bids us happy E3 and that's your lot for today. I'm off to gloat, knowing that I've won two bets today. The fact, however, is slightly marred by what was an absolutely appauling press conference.

[20:02] I'm signing off now. I'll be back with you tomorrow for both of Nintendo and Sony's conferences, but until then, Happy E3!

Not bad, kinda lost the plot at the FUCK YOU BLACK MAN!!!
comment tho Owen.

Another thing, if you're so anti gimmick, I'd quit video game playing to be honest

It was crap. Not nearly cynical enough. I regret to say that I no longer posess my previous years coverage, which was far superior in every way shape and frm, and the year before that was yet still better. I'm losing the edge I had on my writing because I'm so stressed by exams. Why E3 couldn't have been just the one week later I know not. At any rate. I'm not quitting gaming because of one thing; the existence of good games. The first 20 minutes to half an hour of that conference demonstrated such games, but from then on it was all "lookaatourtwatfagcameramotionsensingaccessorygameandallthereallystupidgamesyoucangetwithitlololololol!!!!" That, in my eyes, was the worst letdown since Nintendo 2007.

Yeah but you know that besides Halo, GOW, Fable that MS doesn't have much in the way of 1st party titles anyway.

IMO GOW3 looked awesome, easily better than both previous titles. Halo had some lovely dirt and explosion effects going on and Fable is well Fable lol.

As for Kinect, I love it, the way it recognises you and the ease in which it works. There have been countless times I've grown frustrated because I've had to answer the phone or go to the door, and due to misplacing of my remote I've had to rush around and get all hot and bothered.

Now all I have to do is say Xbox pause and Bam my music, tv, film is paused, it makes the idle geeky part of me tingle lol.

Plus I'm sure that 3rd parties will have lots of lovely games to demo over the comming days, there are at least 6 or 7 Kinect games that have yet to surface I think

Kinect looks great if you have a family. Solo gamer, what does it add? I mean, Star Wars... Yeah it looked great but come on. I ain't going to spend what £100 probably more just to play one game.

Roll on to the other conference's!

Kinect looks VERY good... How much space do I need to play it though? I highly doubt it's going to work in my little cramped University accomodation! Plus, how well is it actually going to work with true hardcore games? We haven't seen evidence it can do real hardcore yet.

I am a little dissapointed that it doesn't recognise the actions of your hands. I'd rather be able to pick things up or turn a handle rather than doing the PS Eye thing of holding my hand still over an icon

Kinect will be interesting, I liked what Kinectimals offered and I like how you can browse your dashboard by movement of the hands and speech. It's pretty cool. Halo Reach and its space battles looked epic.

I still rate the conference 6/10 though, but well done for covering it all Owen.

Thanks Darren.

In terms of moving menus around with your hands and voice commands, the novelty will wear off faster than a greased monkey can fall out of a tree. We use controllers to navigate because it's reliable and quick, and Kinect seems to be very much slower, and with a lot of ambient noise it will certainly strugle to pick up your voice, so it doesn't look like it'll be reliable either. Plus, if you're talking to someone about your Xbox while playing a game, for example; "I had to go and eat, so I turned my Xbox off and... OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!" Problem much?

Brother: Mum says you need to come down for your tea
You: I'M TRYING TO PLAY ON MY XBOX, FUCK OFF
*Xbox turns off*
You: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


Yeah I can see that.

I fail to see where you came up with it looks very much slower, I suggest you check your broadband speed as I guess you were having streaming problems, and how you can see a perceived problem with reliabilty when It's not even on the market is frankly laughable .

As for your statement for making a cynical view on the conference, I would suggest it was more a 'I don't care what they say or what they show I'm gonna talk shit about it anyway'.

I couldn't possibly know who you're talking about there...