Corrupt a wish

A popular forum game from Shinesparkers! All you have to do here is corrupt the wish of the person above you. For example:

Person: I wish for a million pounds
You: Granted, you get greedy, gamble it and lose

So i'll start us off!

I wish Other M was released now

Granted, you can't afford it and only 10 get released.

I wish I was drunk XD

Granted, you get so drunk you die of something.

>_>
<_<

I wish I had better lines.

Granted, they're on your head!

I wish my tea would hurry up and make itself ;_;

Granted, but it also eats itself.

I wish I had no college on Monday.

Granted, you go on Saturday and Sunday instead

I wish for world peace

Granted, but it sucks.

I wish I had some more laptop memory.

Granted, your laptop explodes

I wish pokemon was real

Granted, but a Magikarp eats you.

I wish I had more music.

Granted, but Glee get's old then it dies off.

I wish I had a mudkip.

Granted, but it evolves.

I wish I had an assistant.

Granted, but he's useless.

I wish I had MGS Rising.

Granted, but all the characters are fat and therefore useless at their roles.

I wish I could be bothered to meet the Black Eyed Peas halfway.

Granted, but they're not there when you arrive halfway.

I wish Darren would stop eating orphans.

Granted. He starts eating kids with parents instead.

I wish Lady GaGa would get the hell out of my bath.

Granted, she gets inside your mind instead.

I wish Americans would stop friendly firing people. >_>

Granted, but they sue you instead.

I wish I dreamed a dream of time gone by.

Granted, everyone dies because they can't go on living

I wish I had a million pounds

Granted. Another million pounds of boob flab.

I wish to be a cyber ninja.

Granted, but you get arrested for cyber bullying.

I wish I were bulletproof.

Granted. You step on a landmine.

I wish I had lotsa power.

Granted, but it overwhelmes you and you die.

I wish Mia Fey was real.

Granted, her bewbs are deflated

I wish I was fatter

Granted, you gain a pound, but now you're physically impossible for the world to hold you and you die.

I wish Cheryl Cole would speak those 3 words to me.

Granted, she says them

"I'm not interested"

I wish I could go on that roller coaster from the Barclays advert